Knowing that some of you probably are not familiar with ARs, AKs, and MNs, I have determined to provide some basic info before I list the points.
This is an AK-47. The name designates the type of rifle, the name of the designer, and the year of adoption by the Soviet Army. Roughly translated, they letters and numbers mean “Automatic rifle, Kalashnikov (the fellow who designed it), model 1947” - AK-47. Furniture is solid wood or plastic. Military versions have fully automatic capability, as well as detachable magazines; thus, they may accurately be termed, “assault rifles.” AKs are not renowned for their accuracy. Military AK-47s have a bayonet with about a 6 inch blade.
This is a Mosin-Nagant. Originally designed and adopted by the Russians in 1891. All furniture is solid wood, and very heavy. As you can see, it is a bolt action rifle with a very long barrel. These are pretty slow to load and fire, but pretty accurate - customized versions of these rifles were used for sniper platforms as late as the Second World War. The Mosin has a bayonet that looks half as long the rifle itself, and is of the old triangular sort that is no good for anything other than thrusting.
This is an AR-15. The name stands for “ARmalite rifle, model 15,” as I understand it. This is the rifle that was adopted by the US Army as the famed M-16. Furniture is high-tech plastic. AR-15s can be customized and used for very precise shooting at extended ranges. However, unlike the AK, they do require a good bit of maintenance for proper function. There is a reason one does not often see pictures of bayonets mounted on ARs; the AR platform is not designed to double as a halberd, and would not last long when employed as such.
Now for the list itself. Throughout, AK = AK-47; AR = AR-15; MN = Mosin-Nagant.
AK: It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever.
AR: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
MN: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.
AK: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.
AR: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
MN: You can hit the farm from two counties over.
AK: Cheap mags are fun to buy.
AR: Cheap mags melt.
MN: What's a mag?
AK: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR: You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
MN: What's a safety?
AK: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR: Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system (this is hyperbole, obviously).
MN: You rifle has dog collars.
AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
MN: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.
AK: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak, if you can hit it.
AR: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds.
MN: You can knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.
AK: When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
MN: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.
AK: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR: What's recoil?
MN: Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.
AK: Your sight adjustment goes to "10", and you've never bothered moving it.
AR: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
MN: Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you've actually tried it.
AK: Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
MN: Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.
AK: Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR: Your rifle won the Cold War.
MN: Your rifle won a pole vault event (again, a bit of hyperbole, perhaps . . .).
AK: You paid $350.
AR: You paid $900.
MN: You paid $59.95.
AK: You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
MN: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.
AK: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR: You foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
MN: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.
AK: Service life, 50 years.
AR: Service life, 40 years.
MN: Service life, 100 years, and counting.
AK: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
MN: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54r.
AK: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, it's under warranty!
MN: If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.
AK: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards burst into flames.
AR: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
MN: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.
AK: After a long day the range you relax by watching "Red Dawn".
AR: After a long day at the range you relax by watching "Blackhawk Down".
MN: After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor.
AK: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of Vodka.
AR: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hotdogs and apple pie.
MN: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob.
AK: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
MN: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.
AK: Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
AR: Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high tech polymers.
MN: Your rifle's finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and Olga's toe nails.
AK: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
AR: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
MN: You're not sure there WERE cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin.
AK: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
AR: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
MN: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the the yard to sleep in.
So there you have it. Comments?
7 comments:
Haha, that's pretty funny. I got a couple of good laughs, especially when I read about the cost of the AR-15 accessories; it's so true! And the part about being able to hit the broad side of a barn with an AK... from the inside! Haha!
But the part about the AR being any harder to maintain than most other guns seems less than accurate... Though online discussion groups and AK fan sites have dished out a lot of misinformation about the AR, AR's really aren't bad guns. Patrick Sweeney, in his book "The AR-15" debunked a lot of common AR myths. I'd highly recommend it.
Anyway, that's my two cents.
I agree, Curtis, some of the "points" are rather hyperbolic. $9-per-ounce cleaning solution is a bit much. The list is, sadly, a bit out of date . . . One is hard pressed to find an AK for $350 these days, and the accessories have certainly broadened in scope.
I would agree, too, that the AR is not significantly "harder" to maintain than "most other guns." First of all, it's not a hard gun to clean at all . . . break down is a breeze. Heck of a lot easier to deal with than my Remington 597 .22. And yes, everything I've heard is that properly maintained, an AR is very reliable. The SEALs adopted them and used them extensively in Vietnam, and never had any problems ("Weapons of the Navy SEALs," Kevin Dockery).
I would maintain, based on my knowledge of piston vs. impingement operated systems, that the impingement system will require more care. Does this make it "harder" to deal with? Not necessarily. It just means you may not be able to go years without cleaning your gun. Moreover, impingement systems tend to be a tad more finicky about what gets in their gas tube than piston systems. By virtue of their design, mud, grit, and water tend to have a bit more detrimental effect on their function than a piston system, thus necessitating proportionally more cleaning.
An AR is impingement, an AK is piston. I think when comparing the two (or even throwing in the Mosin ; ) ), the AR is clearly a more care-intensive system. This does not apply to every gun, obviously. But in this particular instance, the AR simply requires a little more tender loving care.
Hilarious!
I would love to see another one... maybe on .40 vs 9mm or polymer frame vs. 1911, etc...
However, is comparing the MN to the AR and AK doesn't really seem like apples to apples. The MN is bolt action and is therefore waaay more accurate than either the AK or the AR. Also, to the best of my knowledge, the MN can't have the magazine capacity that an AK or AR can.
It all boils down to what your personal opinion is, I guess.
My .02.
LOL, awesome post Johnson!
Simo Häyhä, the man credited with the most kills in any modern war, used the MN.
I read somewhere that he killed over 500 Soviets in less than four months.
Not too bad for a farmer with a bolt action. :)
~Mike
Thanks for the comments, gentlemen!
I suppose I should clarify my point of view: I think the Mosin is a great little $70 deer rifle, not a viable weapon for clearing your house in the dark at midnight! I posted the list strictly for humor's sake (note the tag at the bottom). I read this some time ago and thought it was hilarious - thought y'all might get a charge from it. At some point, when time allows, I would like to publish some serious posts on the AK and AR systems.
Stephen: I quite agree with your observation of apples to apples. Like I said, I posted the list for humor's sake. Although, simply being a bolt action does not *guarantee* the Mosin's superior accuracy . . . helps a whole lot, though ; ).
Mike: I knew the Mosin had been used extensively by the Soviets during WWII, and I have heard of some incredible shots. Did not know about Simo Hayha, though. Thanks for sharing! Not too bad, indeed!
lol, ok, I have to admit, that was funny :D
(spoken as not a particular fan of AKs, MNs, or even (though I do like them a little better) ARs )
:-)
Howdy, Emil! Welcome aboard. I'll look forward to hearing more from you!
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